"I Still Have Time To Try"

"I Still Have Time To Try", 100 x 100 cm, oil, acrylic, canvas

A man lies in the dark, on a made bed, undressed. He looks out the corner of the window at the black sky, the reflections of the city in the clouds.

"When I laid down, it was still sunset, the beginning of autumn, I didn't notice when it got dark, maybe I need to undress and cover myself, maybe then I'll fall asleep, but I can't yet, I'm still afraid to close my eyes and disappear. It's quiet and dark around, but in my heart - somewhere inside - memories are shining comfortably, there she is smiling at me, her hair still black without the slightest silver thread, and we are walking along the waves, I am holding her hand.

It's been a long time since I held your hand, that feeling is starting to fade, the softness of your skin - what is it like? Is it the same as all the other women or like our daughter's still childish palm?

They are not all like that.

Yes, they are soft, warm, and good to hold. But in them I will never find our past: the first time I kissed you, when we melted in the fire of the first night, even the first time we got angry, we parted for a while, and then you forgave me again, only your palm became a little rougher.

Other palms won't have that first time when I forgot how to love."

A man lies on a hotel bed and looks at the sky through the window.

It's good for him to hear his breathing, he thinks, I'm still alive, I can still do something, change, fix something.

As long as I am - I can still remember, learn, start again.

Gotta get up and go.

...